The Biggest Parenting Secret

A lot of times, moms and dads worry about specific stuff that’s happening today, or happened last night, or might happen tomorrow. We worry a lot about sleep and eating and fevers and behavior. We often want to find the answer to each of these – the one thing that will solve an issue and put it to rest – and we’re frustrated when that answer doesn’t appear or doesn’t seem to work very well.

The problem is, we’re looking for the wrong thing. Being a parent is not just a series of tasks accomplished and child development milestones reached. It’s not measured by the number of hours slept each night or by a child’s score on a reading test. Being a parent is about developing a human being. And human development doesn’t happen simply or overnight or even this year. It happens over time and forever.

Being able to take the long view is the biggest secret to happy and successful parenting. Just knowing that there is time – that time is required – and that growing a child is a process of two-steps-forward-one-step-back is liberating. Calming. Children develop little-by-little into responsible, capable, and pleasant adults. There will be setbacks. But always, there will be progress if you are there to guide and inspire.

So think, not of solving problems, but of shaping your child’s development. This shaping process happens daily, in hundreds of tiny ways and through the loving and supportive relationship you have with your child. Model what you want to see and guide your child in following your lead.

And because the process of human development lasts forever, remember that you are developing too. Being a parent is an opportunity to become more and better than you were before. Your child shapes you just as you shape your child. Let being a parent inspire you to grow and develop, not to harden and push back.

Take the long view. Enjoy your children every day as they move toward becoming the wonderful people they already are. This is parenting’s biggest secret to success.

Interested in learning more?
View my other tips on the Early Learning Community by CLICKING HERE.